moments – tropical blue

January 2018 – Jarabacoa, Dominican Republic

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mopeds move between lanes without lines, broken aluminum buildings & fallen signs

Frank Ocean plays through Lenny’s uncle’s beat-up truck
a manual drive

We’re old friends reminiscing in new places
about moving and staying and leaving and playing and falling in love, right?

we’re similar in that way

both silently missing the ones we thought we had to leave
hoping they’ll keep a place for us
kind of weird because
kind of we were lovers
but we were never real enough to be in love

even now

surrounded by gentle mountains, blue-grey twilit clouds and telephone wires. palm trees wave their large green leaves as the wind picks up

the water is so heavy in the air, pressing down on my chest. music and memories of you filter in through the open windows

humidity accumulating in the corners of my eyes

but I don’t want to tell him how much I miss you
I can barely bear to tell myself

the city of eternal spring passes
blue & white
like the flowers on my sundress

but darker now
through the rainclouds

still too scared to speak my thoughts
maybe that’s why it feels so good to hear them sung

wild

fleeing outside, flying kites
meandering barefoot in the twilight

we run wild
up hills to the parks
where we can get lost together
midday past dark

Where we would wander,
cold and wet
through rain-soaked forests
all of the red orange yellow-browns
of the leaves that cover the ground
hiding the dirt and roots from the trees
a month ago pounded underneath my bare feet

still tracing the patterns the trees create,
except with you, I don’t mind the wait

you kiss me,
unafraid,
hold me tight.
together, we laugh about the things we fear alone in the night

we talk about the past and the future, too
things that are important to you
me
family
a half-forgotten memory

And I feel heard and seen and felt so deeply
in a way that gives me energy
makes me want to
want to do,
want to be
be with you

but I’m also stronger on my own
you’re vanilla tea in my heart when I’m alone

down St.Laurent at sunset
lights strung up and down the boulevard
watching our city glow so bright
I feel so very loved, so light

The clouds & the colors paint the sky
now I’m with you
I don’t have to try
to be
anything except for me

nights spent in your arms
rain pours outside
but nothing can touch us,
intertwined

hidden, under covers
my best friend, my lover
Scratch, kiss, moan, bite
fuck me and it’s wild, it’s right

dancing wild
running free
absolutely irrationally

while logically
we make ourselves believe
the lies we tell ourselves
don’t think about
the day I have to leave