Moments

These are little pieces of my life. Experiences I’ve had where my heart felt so full it could burst, where reality was so poignant I just wanted to capture it, but it was more than where I was and what I was seeing and hearing, it was what I was feeling and who I was at the time. These are romanticizations of periods of my life, times I can go back to in the blink of an eye.

// 2016

Santa Cruz 2016

in Joseph’s car. Imagining dragons & speeding down windy forest roads way too fast, tight turns taken with the windows down. We’re screaming together at the top of our lungs. It almost fet like it used to be
But now it was just the good parts, because I found something new

I don’t need the other parts anymore

// 2017

Holding onto Clifford the big red truck with one hand as the wind blows my shirt against my skin outside Emma’s passenger window. From the backseat, Audrey’s asking if I’m okay.
I can barely hear her over the pop punk beats, can’t bother to worry when there are so many stars in the sky and green Christmas lights around the neighborhood I had never called home

// with Joseph, down aguajito road hanging out as we went slow up the steep hill at 3AM after sneaking out to have sex. W e were wild, we were in love, it was fun and it was high schol. until he turned on the child lock, capturinge, taking away the person I wanted to be

Januuary 2017, on the way back to the place I now call home. Dark airport lights, wet ground, moving out the window, you are what you love not who loves you – save rock & roll fallout boy. So much hope (you are a badass) the universe is 100% here in you and you can do anything! yellow and blue field and reds, thinking about the boy upstairs who I hadn’t seen in a month

January, northern Quebec, dark skies, snow lines the black trees, wide expanses of white, Hozier & warmth & friends. Snow-covered trees & Troye Sivan, cute houses covered in icicles and snow, sparkly white, dusting the mountains in the distance

December 2017: Finals

Watching the cars roll down the street, boots on my feet tapping to the beat, the lights reflect off the glass, chair is sticking to my ass,

water drips off my feet, like the words roll off the page and all the world’s a stage,

my gaze flickers and my attention wanes/

We attend to what we have the most certainty about, when we can’t find approval within we go without/

The blinking and thinking and ice skate rinking / but they keep moving keep rolling so smooth and so solid, the grey blue of the sky/rain clouds out the corner of my eye and it’s always so warm before the storm

and I will continue to refuse to conform. Finals are my happy time and this is a pretty good rhyme 🙂