play pretend

I had to sleep with you every night so I wouldn’t be alone with my thoughts 
of who I was 
& what I had done 

Together, we would pretend 
to be happy, fun, and deep 
until your breath softened and I knew you were asleep

Your life felt so happy, so calm
I kept myself too busy to think for too long

Maybe it was real 
to some degree
but we had no real responsibility 

Our love was summer camp
Pretend playing the people we wanted to be
It wasn’t reality

but you really did love me

If I had asked, would you have stayed with me?

//

I can’t see you being in my life again 
but I’m so grateful you were then

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